In The Abstract
by MaiaKittyMeow
Summary: a one shot of how Alex was after her mom died and Piper left, about her addiction to heroin. my friend wanted me to write it, so shout out to Lily.


**I'm sorry I didn't mean to write this. It kinda just happened.**

**In The Abstract**

* * *

><p>Lies<p>

_They were all lies_

Alex cynically laughs. She doesn't know what at.

At herself maybe, for believing the words that would slip out of those precious lips she used to kiss again and again.

At Piper maybe. The pity. How Piper would look upon Alex now and pity her, the depths she let herself crawl into after her amazing, perfect, envied life shattered like glass.

The sharp slivers of what her life used to be, the memories, cut her deep, left scars on her heart and mind.

Her chuckle rang through her ears and the empty, grungy basement as she flipped on her lighter. The little object with the half-naked woman printed on it, it held so much power. So much power in its little flame.

Alex could see it flickering back in her glasses. She was hungry.

No, not for food. She hadn't been hungry for food in a while, her ribs and collarbones and hips jutted out of pale skin, showing prominently.

_My bones are showing. It's kinda beautiful isn't it? Piper wouldn't think so. _

She was hungry for the familiar girlfriend that took the appearance of white powder, the beautiful white powder that twisted her mind from the day she started to use it.

She hummed as she felt the weight of the baggie in one hand and flicked on and off the spark in her other, building the beautiful anticipation.

_My mom may be 6 feet under, Piper, but you are the one that is dead to me. _

She dumped a decent amount of the _drug_ onto her lucky silver spoon and sparked the flame underneath it. Her thumb hurt from rubbing against the red plastic ridges that when flipped down, brought the flame to life.

Her hand shook slightly and she licked her chapped lips watching the powder turn to golden-copper liquid in the dipped metal.

She can already smell it. The sickly sweet smell that she used to hate, but now craves. It burnt her nose.

Alex went through the 'practice makes perfect' ritual of putting the liquid in a syringe and tying a band around her arm.

_There they are, those precious veins of mine._

* * *

><p>"<strong>Hold my hand when it happens" <strong>

"**Don't be a big baby, Alex, it's just a shot" Piper flipped a page in her magazine.**

"**I fucking hate needles"**

"**Watch your mouth, Al, there's kids in here."**

**The doctor motioned to them to follow and lead them to the way too white and sterile room that smelled strongly of disinfectant and it burned Alex's nose.**

"**You ready?" he said, bored, holding a needle a couple inches from Alex's tattooed bicep.**

"**I seriously don't understand how you can hate needles, yet you have so many tattoos" Piper mumbled, taking Alex's hand and squeezing it reassuringly.**

"**That's different, it's not a creepy doctor's needle"**

**The needle poked through her skin and borrowed in.**

"**ow, its pinching!" Alex whined.**

"**What happened to my bad ass girlfriend?" Piper smirked and kissed Alex, hoping to bring some of the pain away.**

* * *

><p>Alex felt the prick. The needle sliding in her skin and she sighed with content. She felt heat spread through her body and her forest eyes roll back.<p>

_Let the maggots and worms infest your brain_

_Got your memory of all timers begins_

_Let that hell of a drug emerge in your veins_

_And I, will claim that I love you_

Alex lets out a laugh as she feels her mind slip away. She now knows why her customers would go crazy for a pinch of the drug. _It just feels, so, so good._

_Thank you Piper_

_For all you've done_

_Gave me cancer_

_And thick black lungs_

_Left me rotting_

_On the street_

_Rather shoot up_

_Than have food to eat_

Happiness. Soft music plays. The music is distant and her head is spinning and everything is shimmering. Her lips tilt up into a smile and her head falls back hard against the wood paneled walls of whoever's basement this is.

Her body fills with lightning and she feels like she is floating. _Piper? This drug is so much better._

She basks in the magic the liquid is working for her. Humming an unfamiliar tune and laughing and swinging her arms, as if she was dancing sitting down. Minutes of heaven pass of nothingness besides a sweet feeling, like an orgasm all over her body.

"_Alex?"_

Her eyes widen. A voice she hadn't heard in a few years echo's through the room, the walls. All the sudden the air is thick and Alex feels like it has been pulled from her lungs and she can't breathe in anymore.

"Mom?"

"_What have you done, baby girl?"_

Alex's smile falls off her face. "Mom I'm fine"

"_What are you doing to yourself?"_

"It feels so good"

"_I'm disappointed in you"_

Alex looks around the room for her mom but finds nothing.

_My mom is dead._

"Mom?"

_She is gone. Everyone is. Alex was better in the abstract, everyone was better in the abstract._

"Mom?! Come back! Where are you?" she yells.

_What find of sick joke is this? It's the record player. Someone is playing a sick joke. Playing my mom's voice on the record player._

Alex grabs the closest thing to her, a heavy glass bowl, and throws it at the record player. The bowl shatters against the thick wood of the base, and the record player falls over and breaks into multiple pieces

"Who would do this? What find of sick person are you?!" she says to nothing.

"_I'm sorry about your mom, but this doesn't change anything"_

Alex squeezes her eyes shut and puts her hands on her ears. "Go away Piper!"

"_I can't be your girlfriend anymore" _the voice speaks loud and clear.

Alex opens her eyes but everything is blotchy and she feels light and dizzy.

Everything is spinning.

* * *

><p><strong> Piper smiled and inserted the CD into the stereo as the wind blew in her hair. Alex turned her eyes toward the blonde for a second before turning back to the road, speeding down the asphalt in the brand new convertible she bought with the newest bundle of money she had received. she smiled. she was happy. she felt...Alive.<strong>

_**Drown me in my daily cup of tea,**_

_**Tell the porcupines to quit stabbing me,**_

_**They make me fall, but I will stand,**_

_**'Cause all of them are jerks with their cups in their hands.**_

_**Now they want a whisper, a whisper from me,**_

_**'Cause all of them have watched me travel the world and kick asses**_

_**But what about little, little ol' me,**_

_**The one who got bullied, because of her shoes and her glasses**_

_**Ladies o' ladies, why are you so mad, is it**_

_**Cause I'm classy, **_

_**And you're trash bag **_

_**You teasing and laughing resonates through my heart**_

_**And now you're calling me 'cause you want a fresh start**_

_**Now look at you boys you cant believe your eyes,**_

_**You told me I was ugly and I took you by surprise,**_

_**You should of been nicer cause look where I'm at,**_

_**While you copy Mac Miller wearin' snap back hats.**_

_**I hope you all are watching my middle finger rise, **_

_**To the bullies in the school yard I know I'm on your mind,**_

_**Now you say love me, but what about before,**_

_**When I was just that silly little girl next door.**_

* * *

><p><em>How ironic.<em>

"Get out of my head, Piper, you don't exist"

"_I love you too"_

"Get out!" Alex throws a vase and it hits the wall. Shattering like the glass bowl. her glasses fall off her face and she gets angry and throws them too. she is angry at everything. everyone. _Piper._

_too much glass, its everywhere, its cutting me everywhere. everything is broken_

everything was blurry.

Alex feels like rocks are beating her down, she feels like she is burning, yet icy cold at the same time. She pulls her legs to her and blinks hot tears out of her eyes, the salty water burning her face.

Alex pulled at her black locks of hair. Knotted and gross.

_isn't it odd how in the future, you will probably tell people you never got attached, that you were a lousy junkie. when really, its twisting you, and you feel you cant live with out it? _her conscience spoke.

She scratched her arms until she saw ribbons of crimson drip from them.

_You are useless_

_You are a waste._

_Piper never loved you._

_You didn't deserve to be loved._

"I'm going insane, aren't I? I'm going insane"

She felt her eyes shut without consent. She all the sudden felt drowsy and weak and dizzier than ever.

"Come back"

_Come back…please. both of you. come back_

**…****I don't know where this came from. I'm sorry. my friend recommended writing about when Alex was doing heroin, but I don't know how this went, so please review!**

**Until Next Time, 3**

**MKM**


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